For us adults comments may seem unimportant, but for a small is a pattern that will mark them for life.
A child is constantly seeking ways to identify, know who is and form a picture of himself. One way to achieve this is to listen and accept what others say about him.
Therefore, parents must be very careful with what you say at the time of reward or rebuke. The child will easily assume that if you say it's a naughty, naughty and it is a must wear like a naughty child. If you are told, however, which is the king of the world, as well and believe it is the greatest despot who can at a young age.
By calling attention, we should not do to him as a person but to the conduct that has had at that time. Otherwise we would be labeling it and reinforcing the action just do not want to do. "How are you clumsy", "You're bad!" Are some unfortunate examples of label often make.
We let him express his feelings, never pretend to think or feel in a way, or not to do another. It's not bad that the child feels, is standard in the world I hate, be jealous, angry, and so on. If we give the opportunity to express what you feel, it will be easier to help you feel good and know guide to monitor and manage their feelings better and better.
Let us show you can take your own decisions. When we walk through the house, talking to friends about what you like and not like our son in front of him, the child will not have the ability to decide. But the reality is that he knows exactly what she likes and dislikes. You do not want to do everything for him, let us help. So he will be able to know and assert itself much earlier.
We also leave it very clear that we do not want good grades for bringing the school or for always being attentive in class, but because he is who he is. Let us give love forever. Sometimes due to lack of time or neglect tired messages that we give the child when, for example, calls us to play. This ends up thinking that what is not important or that Mom or Dad did not just play with it. Change the messages immediately. Rather than be telling you "do not bother us because we're busy," regalémosle with a "! How beautiful we spent playing together", "what is this game so beautiful that you invented?" And so on.
In short, to ensure that messages are transmitted to the child are positive and help you to love yourself more, you must take care to comply with these features:
No disqualifying
Do not compare
Do not transmit bias
Be realistic, not exaggerated
Not labels, attribute a
Do not attack as a person, correct their behavior
Image: SheKnowsParenting
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